Dumptruck Emcee at Camp Zero, Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

Hey everyone! Been a minute. What have I been up to? So very very much. But for real, over the last nine months my partner and I have been working at becoming full-time on the road citizens and I’m proud to say that it’s finally happened. Like most things worth doing, transitions are always really difficult and require a lot of patience. I’m proud to say the patience paid off

Let’s bring things to the present shall we? At the time of this writing, I’m at Sturgis motorcycle rally. The largest gathering of motorcycle enthusiasts on the planet to my knowledge. What makes this rally so unique are the miles you get to enjoy while you’re here. There are only a few rallies that I’ve attended, and I’ve been a part of these shows since ’09, that have that quality and it makes the trip worth while no matter where your trip begins. These days, I’m rarely impressed with riding faster or drinking harder than you. I’m more intrigued by the natural world that surrounds us and the various ways to love the outdoors with respect and awe. BUT, I do still like to party. And yes, I can still go harder than you.

Dumptruck hugging friend at Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

This year’s arrival was much like the ones before it. Show up early, dole out the hugs, get set up for the next week or so of horse power influenced distractions. This is a good thing and one of my favorite parts of rally season no matter where it may be. Sure, I love motorcycles. I love my people more and as a rambler these rallies can be more like family reunions than a work event.

I don’t know about y’all, but when I’m surrounded by my favorite humans I tend to stir things up a bit. Nothing serious, just a really good old school silly ass biker good time. There are some pretty great ways to accomplish this objective. Most of them are well known but never get old. We call them, “Biker Games” and Sasha’s Cycles, your local to Sturgis, SD chopper shop is partly responsible for keeping them alive. Lucky for me I get to host it from a bull horn each and every year at Camp Zero, my stomping grounds during the rally.

We successfully set out to have the most fun, doing the silliest things, with the lowest overhead possible. Finding the most fun that you can have with just your motorcycle and some friends is totally worth it, so if you dream up something fun and silly to do with your pals, make it happen. Hesitation is for the boring and that’s not why we’re here. There are a lot of different biker games out there, but if you choose these you are sure to have a great time.

Keg Push Motorcycle Game
Keg Push Motorcycle Game
The first game of the day is called the keg push. If you can’t figure out what that is I don’t know what to tell you. You literally put a keg on its side and push it with the front tire of your motorcycle while racing to the finish. The rules are simple. Don’t touch the keg with anything that’s not a motorcycle and if you push it too far out of the way you have to circle back and start pushing with the front tire again. Yes, it is both hilarious and slightly dangerous so watch your butt out there.
The Plank
Motorcycle Game: The Plank at Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

Game two is another extremely complicated feet of ability. It’s called riding the plank and it’s more about testing your skill in a fun way than it is about doing something goofy. Bragging rights are Important around here. You get planks of wood starting with 2×16 and attach them into end. With every added plank you reduce its width making it more difficult for the rider to complete the task. It’s a lot harder than it sounds.

Barrel Race

Following the plank is a fan favorite, mostly because of the crashes. Lol It’s barrel race time! Set 3 barrels in a field like you would a baseball diamond. Everyone starts at home and rolls as fast as possible around the barrels. You can decide the order as there’s no wrong way to really do this. I prefer a 1st, 3rd, 2nd, then home race track, but you do you. 

(HINT: I find it to be a pro move to stagger the higher intensity events between the less rigorous races so people last longer and are safer through to the end. You might wanna write that one down for the future.)

Slow Race
Slow Race photo at Camp Zero at Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

2nd to last event, we’re almost there people. Stick with me. It’s the slow race.

So slow races are also quite simple. It’s a show of skill with the goal of crossing the finish line LAST. Yup, you read it right. The last bike across the finish without the rider’s feet ever touching the ground wins. This is all about slow maneuvering and it’s actually a good one to practice for practical skills. Any body can ride at speed, but can you handle your machine at a snails pace? Not as easy as you’d think and a blast to participate in. I LOVE me a slow race.

Dumptruck and Brady McLean compete in the Weenie Bite competition at Camp Zero

The Weenie Bite

Now for the BIG FINISH! The Weenie Bite! Yup, get your kisser ready cause it’s time to ride beneath a wooded arch with a mustard drenched hot dog wiener hanging from a string as your prize. What’s the point? A good time. How do you play? Each rider finds a passenger who’s up to the task of trying to bite the weenie with out using your hands. YUP! It’s fricken’ HILLARIOUS. All are welcome to play and most do even after the games are officially over. It’s that good. Just bring a shirt you don’t care about for this one.

Hope this helps y’all have your own good times where you’re reading. Don’t forget, these are basic AF so build on them to make ’em more fun. And ya don’t have to wait for a rally to set it up. Just a random night or weekend with a fire nearby. Some folks call it camping. I call it living.

Dumptruck is an online personality, voice over professional, emcee, and motorcycle enthusiast. Read more about his adventures on the road here and on his website, ispeakgood.com.